I was just playing a role

So all these labels and roles which I have lived by, which I thought were who I am and what I had to do – that they were assigned by something outside of myself, that they were just a given – you know, that’s just how it is – were actually assigned to me by me. I am the one who accepted them, took them on and defined myself by them. Wow. I am the creator of the who that I am.

When I think that these labels define me and one or more of these labels no longer apply then I feel lost – who am I if I am not that?

But I never was that, I was just playing the game of being that. Just as children play for a while until something else takes their fancy. For example, it is not that I am no longer a mother and relinquish all responsibility but rather that I see that I am the creator of every interpretation I have made of this role.

When I think that being a mother means giving up my own desire and always putting others needs before my own then I have created my own limitation, my own deprivation. No one did it to me. I am the interpreter of the role like the actor on the stage who is given complete free reign by the director.

When I realise that these labels do not define me but rather I have taken them on – I have defined myself by them – then they can fall away like worn clothes which drop to the floor at the end of the day.